The Awakening

She didn’t recall much about her past, as she woke up …

Or should I rather say, she did not know much about herself, at all …
The first thing that she recalls, even today, was waking up, completely lost. Then came the colours, the sounds the scent.
Those sensations, feeling everything so intensely and more than ever, perceiving the trees, “nature”, the whole around her in such a powerful way, made her understand something irreversible happened and made her aware of One thing:
life would not have been anymore the one she lived before.

It took time for her to get used to where she was, or, even more, to “what” she was. Things came to this new “her” little by little and in flashes. Most of them happening during her sleep, sometimes though she happened to experience them also in daylight. Each of these flashes, was an experience, to her, and markedly different than what dreaming was supposed to be.

Emerging from these flashes was like finding the sky after being underwater. As in that case, the first need was to breath, to catch air, to recollect, and then, immediately after, she invariably felt herself thirsty for more.

Besides being a capable swimmer, water had never been her element. Water had always been for her something holy and ritual, like everything entering her body, but even much more than that. Yes “water” was all this to her, rather than an element in which moving.

Often things were told to Her during her flashes, in the form of poems. A peculiar thing is that she always remembered the words whispered to her during these flashes.

More than any other there was One poem that kept recurring like a sort of mantra now. She remembered every line of it, and now strangely enough she felt like whispering it

And then
There are those like you, the never quiet ones.

A beast inside, You have. It howls and cries and sings.
It smiles and dances, devours and screams.
It moves within, silent at times,
invisible to all, you are its host

Some nights it comes, and shakes your world
It laughs and howls, and you get small.
Of you it knows it all, the whole of you.
It knows of feelings and emotions, of fears and love, of pain and sorrow, of dreams and wishes.
Your bleeding heart and blinding light, She is.

Some nights it comes, and shakes your world
You feel its tail, you feel its hunger, its laughter too.
You know it’s there, waiting its time.
You know it’ll come.
Its mouth will bleed, its voice will scream

It’s safe place and your damnation
It’s your companion and your protection
It is your balance, Your other colour
It needs a bride a guide a virgin
It needs a soul to tear apart
It cannot live without all this
You can’t survive if not with it

And now you know.

……