Because its sound can express an entire universe and letting it go from our lips can be life
What is there in a name? In the end, in it there is all that we charge it with So, for me, yesterday night, it was “Her name”. It was closing the eyes and whispering it.
A “name” can be many things to us. A name can be life, breath, a name can be terror, a name can be music, a name can be tears, a name can be …
The name will never truly be what we FORCE it to be, it will just be what it represent within us, for us. What we feel it is.
It can be everything but at the same time we cannot make it to be everything.
In the end every day, every night if we close the eyes to “feel” and chant “the name”, then it will respond it will speak its nature to us.
Last night I stopped the book I was reading. I whispered those syllables. I listened to what they filled me with and they spoke. In my bed I whispered. I listened to it all till exhaustion killed the shouts till staying down killed the shouts I got flooded with it all I got cuddled with it all
“Oh, well, thank you, actually, I am just a consequence”
“You are a consequence? What do you mean? I see you and I find you beautiful”
“Well, <me>, <you>, <everyone>, we are nothing but consequences. I am a consequence of my emotions and thoughts. I am a consequence of my heart and mind. What I do, how hard I work on myself, my dedication to things, the lack of, my attitude towards others, life, love: they are all consequences of my heart and mind, of our thoughts and feelings. I just listen to them, and be what they suggest.
Our actions and words, what we are. All of it is a consequence of our hearts and minds. That is for me a good reason to give importance to them.
“Some people leave a marriage literally, by divorcing. Others do so by leading parallel lives together.” /John M. Gottman/
Cards on the table, this is sincerely one thing I have seen happening often in a relationship, be that a marriage or otherwise. “Together but separate”; this, to me, is the definition of a sort of long drawn slow suicide. Perhaps this is also why I value so much communication, checking-in, openness and vulnerability. For me relationship has always meant believing it will be a lifelong travel. Either this or i would not have gone for a relationship. Not having a roommate to share chores with and a roof over our heads. It is the reason why I believe in (to the point of sometimes craving for) connection in a relationship. What i mean is Genuine, Authentic Connection. Connection and commitment. The ways of this connection are not the same and having the same dynamics for everyone, but it is the key, however this equilibrium is realised. It has to exist and be of a type that is fulfilling for both. Making the choice to be invested, loyal, honest and patient, over and over again. Choosing this even when the two are exhausted and stressed out. I aim at being someone who makes the other “feel” more than think and to which the behaviour of the other gives the same feeling back, someone who wants it just as much as the other “needs” it. I am someone who misses it when this is not realised and work for it, and yes I feel weird when this is not understood, it does not change me and how I behave but a part of me is unable to comprehend deviations from that. I think in relationships one must be someone who understands and more importantly, accepts. Someone who allows being loved and is open to that, craving it too. And even when the two don’t seem so get it, they try, hard.
“Successful long-term relationships are created through small words, small gestures, and small acts.”
/John M. Gottman”/
Because silence speaks loud only for those having something to say.
Silence: it is venerated the silence, revered, worshipped. Much has been written about silence, poems have been composed, quotes about it can be found through all the human eras. Truths about all aspects of silence have been expressed, underlying the virtues of silence, the force of silence, the “voice” of silence. You can read phrases telling how a silence could scream louder than one thousand words, and more … Oooh i know all this, I understand all these things, I have them running in my veins, I chew them, I breath them, I feel them, I taste them, I even could make use of them.
I know how a silence from me could transmit the weight of my heart, or eventually how silence could be used as a blade, or rather to heal and express the strongest nearness of soul. I know how my silence could bring me close to someone living within myself or bring me to someone can be reached only through it: “silence”. I know how a silence can calm me, soothe me, or remove the useless trappings from my life, built over simple values. I know how silence connects me to what is the really essential, the core. Of all this I am aware.
I natheless know more. I know this.
Without its nemesis, “communication”, silence would lose all its strength.
I know that if my soul would not speak and I would not say all I say, then silences would never have the power they are and I know that their power increase at par with the depth of what is said. I know that for silence to be powerful we must be able to face and stare into each other’s eyes and tear our heart out of our mouth. THEN being silent will be the powerful weapon it can be. This is one more reason to never let things unspoken. Never avoid doing it for bad and good things for the hurtful and also for those little beautiful things which are the daisies in the field of life. Those must be spoked too, so that their absence will become as powerful as they deserve. All this needs chanted and not silenced. This do give meaning to silence. I know that we should praise both silence and its nemesis, this I know. Without it the silence will “stop speaking”. Without it, staring into each other’s eyes will be just “optics”, and not that power exchange that it has to be.
For my silences to speak they do need my words For our words to weight they need our silences For my silence to speak they need our words For words to weight they need our silence
The yin and the yang. Balancing. Completing.
As for me and silence: never fear for me when I do speak. Never fear me being lost when drops of my heart do rain, pouring like crazy, exploding in blasts of flames from a dark furious sky. Fear rather if this would not happen, fear my silence, as I was not done for it. I do know silence and I do respect it, I worship it and under the strength of his spell I had already been a captive.
Silence must be watered with all the love that its noisy nemesis is capable of, if not it will be just “void”.
As for me. I deeply believe that what should be feared it is THAT type of silence, because that silence would make all the other silences, powerless.
Being in Love for me means “Love is You“. Being in love for me equal to “You is Love“
My beloved, to me YOUisLOVE
It is not treasuring, it is not enjoying, it is not the pleasure I seek when I am ok, it is not the moments of peace I seek to be a little better when I am not, it is not what I chant with my writing, or the music I play on piano when things go well or wrong.
YOUisLOVE because it is all that, and more.
You is Love because I belong, because my heart seeks you, because my mind wants yours, because my body needs you, You is Love because it just is.
You is Love because no lust is like our togetherness, you is love because my mind melts with my body and is wrapped in our intertwined souls in our being One. You is Love because the world does not exist the time bends and it is an orgasm going beyond our orgasms. You is love because there are moments I would rip you apart, and “You is Love” in those moments. You is love because there are moments I would cry all the blood in my veins for you. You is love because there has been days in which i didn’t sleep one minute seeking for you and then the good night kiss has been enough to sweep and overcome all of it.
You is love because i/w/We do not need others. You is love because I’d forget the world and ignore others and I do have to force myself not to do it. You is love because I cannot stay without letting you know I am near, Yours, You in me, me in You.
You is love because I suffer at the idea to leave you waiting, or leave something ours unattended. You is love because it is outwordly, you is love because anything else pales, you is love because it is blasphemy to ignore anything ours. You is love because in all my kindness i could be harder than you probably imagine, to defend us. You is love because of the pride I feel being together in front of the world. You is love because happiness fades when you are unwell. You is love because a good part of my happiness is tied to yours.
You is love because i belong to you, because it is something that makes me feel like nothing else. You is love because it is where all my soul wants to exist. You is love because in your every word I trust. You is love because w/We are soul naked truths, when it might cost bruises because it cant be otherwise. You is love because i got no fear it will fade for anything outside us.
YOUisLOVE because it just is, because LOVEisYOU
{kitty michele} Yes, I have been close and personal today. I did it because I open my soul and write what I feel about, always. Close and personal, and maybe boring, Sorry, me is this crazy.
“Some people leave a marriage literally, by divorcing. Others do so by leading parallel lives together.” /John M. Gottman/
Cards on the table, this is sincerely one thing I have seen happening often in a relationship, be that a marriage or otherwise. “Together but separate”; this, to me, is the definition of a sort of long drawn slow suicide. Perhaps this is also why I value so much communication, checking-in, openness and vulnerability. For me relationship has always meant believing it will be a lifelong travel. Either this or i would not have gone for a relationship. Not having a roommate to share chores with and a roof over our heads. It is the reason why I believe in (to the point of sometimes craving for) connection in a relationship. What I mean is Genuine, Authentic Connection. Connection and commitment. The ways of this “connections” are not the same and having the same dynamics for everyone, but it is the key, however this equilibrium is realised. It has to exist and be of a type that is fulfilling for both. There can be less sharing, no complete mutual giving, it might work, in case it is explicitly clear to both. The kind of bond I call a “relationship” is something different. It is my personal take for it, not for all and not to be necessarily agreed. It is just how things are for me. To me it means making the choice to be invested, loyal, honest and patient, over and over again. Choosing this even when the two are exhausted and stressed out. I aim at being someone who makes the other “feel” more than think and to which the behaviour of the other gives the same feeling back, someone who wants it just as much as the other “needs” it. I am someone who misses it when this is not realised and work for it, and yes I feel weird when this is not understood, it does not change me and how I behave but a part of me is unable to comprehend deviations from that. I think in relationships one must be someone who understands and more importantly, accepts. Someone who allows being loved and is open to that, craving it too. And even when the two don’t seem so get it, they try, hard.
“Successful long-term relationships are created through small words, small gestures, and small acts.” /John M. Gottman”/
Free reflections by me about the “ma” in art, music, literature plus about Eastern/Western spirituality, awareness and more
Silence, emptiness, its meaning, how it can (or can not) speak to us, has always been an important concept that I often tried to explore in my meditations. Over the years I came to think about it many times, sometimes forced by events, losses, successes or failures, and sometimes just because I felt it like something important, to which I had to find a place and an understanding in my own perception of it. I feel that the depth of its meaning and its presence, is something that exists in everyones life, whether we stop and think about it or not. Although it is (by definition) a silent presence it is something that screams when it is express in art, of by nature, music, etc. No one is immune to that. I am a woman of Western origins but in my readings and studies I have discovered how this has found a central place in the Eastern culture spirituality and approach. There is a word, a concept, describing it and representing a sort of starting point for the voyage towards humbly trying to understand it. The Japanese word, in the pure, beautiful, essentiality typical of Japan culture, is made of a single syllable: “ma”.If someone would look it up in a dictionary or Encyclopaedia, this is one of the possible definitions she would get
“Ma (間 ) is a Japanese word which can be roughly translated as “gap”, “space”, “pause” or “the space between two structural parts.”
The spatial concept is experienced progressively through intervals of spatial designation. In Japanese, /ma/, the word for space, suggests interval. It is best described as a consciousness of place, not in the sense of an enclosed three-dimensional entity, but rather the simultaneous awareness of form and non-form deriving from an intensification of vision. Ma is not something that is created by compositional elements; it takes place in the imagination of the human who experiences these elements. Therefore, ma can be defined as experiential place understood with emphasis on interval. Ma has also been described as “an emptiness full of possibilities, like a promise yet to be fulfilled”, and as “the silence between the notes which make the music” {from the web}
How beautiful is that?
The “ma” is all around us, it is the connective tissue over which all things floats, We are made of substance, so we hardly ever are aware of it, but it is there. Western world is a world full of things, we live in a chaotic world, bombarded by inputs, so we rather stop from one entity to the other, one sound to the next, one meeting to the next, almost never aware of the emptiness connecting us all (and the force of it).
There are persons though, artists, writers, scientists, artisans, monks, moms, and everyday people having a natural skill. The skill to make us “hear” that.
I was listening to Bach’s Goldberg Variations, performed by Glenn Gould. Nobody ever played the piano like him. Eccentric, insane, outworldish impossible as he was, he just had that ability to stretch the notes to impossibly slow paces, without ever be boring, or dull. He played them with so much soul and with such mastery that as of today no one ever has still come close to that. How did he do that? How could he do that? He simply “had” it. His natural genius was that. To fill the empty spaces with perfectly timed emptiness that simply bounds the listener, takes her hand and transport her in a magic cuddling carpet. It then becomes a speedy rollercoaster. To then place a void, a void over which we are breathless, panting, and we experience it, the “ma”. No, we do not have to have trained ears to experience that.
Writers do the same. Great writers do create that, takes you and then stretch our feelings, so that to make us taste every single drop of it, exhaustingly teasing us and never being dull, naturally. To then feed us with all the colours and then again. – The ma –
Some have a natural ability into that, they sort of naturally relate to it. This is both for Western or Eastern world, even though in my world we do not “worship” the emptiness or ever think about it. To elevate empty spaces into something spiritual and a central part is something more typical of the Eastern World. Japanese iconography is full of it, such as music. Hereafter the work by Hasegawa is an example of it.
To do that in music one has to be able to pull the listener, (reader, observer). Only like that you can take to the edge and then let the listener free. Free to get lost and enjoy the space, free to appreciate the vastness, emptiness, and wander through it, mixing it with the own feelings. Stretching without ever be dragging, or boring.
A musical director once said “to carry on such slow rhythm and direct an artist doing that, while keeping it interesting it requires a total complete immersion, it needs someone whose inner rhythms are very very strong”. I also remember a video of an interview to a famous drummer who once recorded with Miles Davis. Miles Davis wanted him to do a cover and started playing to illustrate what he wanted to do and then added “The only thing you have to to do now is to keep an easy slow pace with the snare, just a snare, like this: fssht — …….. — …….. — fssht” yet, the silence and space between the two sounds was so long that it was virtually impossible to keep it. Absolutely impossible. They ended up with Miles having a mic by the leg and tapping his own thigh by himself
What is beautiful to me is also how this is absolutely universal. How that is the same for all things and the most diverse aspects of life. It is true in relationships, in speaking to friends, in loving, in smiling, in holding something in the heart. Oh my, I SO FEEL IT. I always felt that and once one feels it, it is like a burning fire always there for us, our personal precious “ma”.
I have found out the women are normally more capable of that. We have that patience, mixed with stubborn passion, that makes it easier for us. Mistuko Uchida and Martha Argerich are examples of unbelievable talented pianists possessing that ability. Plus Glenn.
I have another related thing to write about; Rhythm. It will be in another post.
{thoughts and reflections by me, feel free to disagree and find them absurd *smile*}