All Of Yourself

When You wish to do something,
when you get yourself into anything,
then do it at Your best
not one bit less than Your best,
not pretending from yourself anything less than the best of You,
the very best of You.

Only like this You can hope to smile proudly at Your achievements
Once you have done this, then repeat it for every thing You do.
Make it Your routine, Your goal, Your way of approaching anything.
Put all the love You are capable of, into Your every little thing.

Happiness will be the reward.
Accomplishment, confidence, growth, beauty, completeness,
heartbeats, memories of Your every effort and hurdle You had to overcome,
they will be Your reward and Your garden.

Surround Yourself with gardens,
give Your best, Your very best, in every little thing.

April 29, 2019 0

April 16th – Diary

What will the night bring?
Drops of April rain leave their trail on the window in front of me as I do write my lines. Many thoughts populate my mind. I leave them there for now and turn to watching again at the droplets following their fate down the glass.
Twisty trails.
More rain hit the glass, more water landing, sliding, hesitating, stopping and there accumulating, pushed by the crowd of droplets following the opened trail. The run can now continue. They hurry now, till the next stop, then all over again, like a metaphor of life, a perfect metaphor of our frantic life, made of runs and stops.

In every little drop lies an entire universe.

After all,
maybe we are nothing more than drops,
and someone is watching us sliding down a glass.

April 16, 2019 0

On Love and Power Exchange

Love always involves a level of power exchange, there is always power exchange, even when there is “unconditional love” (whether one believes in such a love or not).
In that case love is totally offered and given, without expectations, but what is given, in a sense is also a gift of power, besides all the rest that’s shared.

Truth is that now, having my love, my beloved holds power, She does hold immense power over me.
She holds it and in Her having it am free, free to hand it to Her and feel safe. In Her having this, I am also empowered, yes, giving up control and handing it I feel empowered and I feel i give “The” gift. I give something of incomparable value, something holy and impalpable, strong, vital and pulsing.

To my Love i say: “Yes, You do”.

You hold the power to have me sleepless or have me resting well, or the power to have me smile, or restless, worried, craving, and more. I am aware of this, I bow to this, as much as I know it.
One word from Her and I will spend the night in restlessness, it can happen, yes. One word from Her, a caress to my spirit, and She soothes it all.
The reassuring caress on my cheek and one word, or She stretching and posing a kiss, with that whisper, that one, and Her girl, me, will sleep better. Every day, every moment, She can choose. Every moment, after all, She does choose what my day will be, in a sense. It is totalising.
Every moment She has the keys to that and more, every day and night She does decide, can decide. No matter of the clouds, the suns, the sadness or the tiredness, She has it. And I need, wish, need, wish Her to be completely aware of it. Power, yes, it is not taking out the romance, to say things with their name, She has it and it grandiose.

She holds the power of having me without appetite, or having me able to attack life with rejuvenated energy. She has the power of doing that and feeling herself like a Goddess in doing it, in having this at Her fingertips. She has the power of doing it and have the power of having me in bliss, and it is heaven when i feel the awareness of it in Her. She might rub Her hands together and think about it, and she would feel the fluid of this energy, if She wishes, or ignore it. She could do it now, or in one minute, or tomorrow, or never.
She has this since my “Yes” and I have Her aware of it and making Her feel feel blessed of it. It is more than two years that She has it, and I have it, and it is bliss.
Power Exchange, yes, it is.
She: aware of this fluid, of controlling the emotions of Her loving beloved one. She has the power of moving the head on the other side, when i stare at Her, and She knows the effect of that simple gesture. She knows that something so simple will cause nothing to anyone else, but it can wreck and hit, harder than any slap, on me.

She may just hint at doing it, sometimes, to feel it, to make me aware. She can even do this, yes. Sometimes if She wishes, She may feel on her fingertips, or on Her heart, the stings this can give and will give to me, to taste a drop of my blood, of my love, to then cuddle me. It is like passing thorns of a rose on the delicate skin, and knowing it can tear it.
She knows it, i know it, and we don’t want it.

This dance, it is love, the epitome of love, it is love bared to the essence, the essence or pain and bliss.

Decadent? Maybe.
Dark? Maybe.
Luminously blinding? Yes.

She has the scandalous power of telling me to bend and kneel, in whatever living room or whatever hotel or public place. She knows I’d do it, with not a word from me, I’d do it.
She has my dignity at Her fingertips and and decency and it was proven. She has the power of snapping the fingers to have it done if She wishes, or to do it with a simple nod, and She would see me dancing at the pace of the wiggling of the magic wand of our bond. She might do those things, like spanking me, and hearing me pant, while my heart explode off my chest inside whatever elegant robe I would be wearing.

Actually all of this is in the end endlessly more romantic and filled with love than dozens and dozens of dull roses.
She has the power of “feeling this power”, built day by day.
She has the power of, paradoxically, feeling me empowered as well, in all this.
She has the power of making me feel like a little damn Queen wanting Her feeling blessed like a Goddess.

She, me, the bond that we have.

April 15, 2019 0

On Love & Freedom

What is it that makes a wolf to be a wolf, a woman to be a woman, a man to be a man, a butterfly to be a butterfly?
Is it sheer biology?
How much of that is “hidden” in the soul?
What is it that makes you “see” a wolf in a wolf, and not feel or accept the lamb that she naturally is?
What is it that makes people not accepting love different forms respect to those taught to them as the canonical ones?
What is it that makes people disgusted by a woman loving in a manly way, or vice versa?
What is that makes people condemning two women loving each other in a womanly way?
What ? What ? What?
What kind of planetary myopia is this?
How can fundamentalism of any kind (ANY kind), subjectivity and egocentrism of any kind, to be such a winning mindset in nowadays world?
How is it that millennia of evolution did not teach us to accept the best we humans can be, just that, without forcing other living beings into schemes not belonging to them?

Courtesy – Kindness – Love – Respect – Intelligence – Acceptance

“Because we live so many years, and our ideas even longer, we should consider courtesy to be the highest social virtue. You cannot afford to give offence when the consequence of a grudge can be held for decades or centuries. Courtesy. understanding and forgiving is the answer and the only way to prevent such hostility from accumulating.”
If the above simple concept would be understood and embraced, we would not have parts of the world fighting battles that are leading to nowhere and destined to lead to nowhere (and i could cite history books and point at specific events). I could tell You which countries are still suffering from seeds of hate (based on preconceptions) that were left to grow and ultimately lead to decades of human decadence. This is however true at all levels, it applies to life around us, it applies to life, to history, to me, to you.

What should we do? Am I good? Are we doing enough for this not to happen and proliferate?
I think we all could do something, I want to think that. I need to think that.
No, i am not so good to be immune to this, not always, not at all.
Not many reads me and not many will read this thing but I will keep advocating courtesy, kindness and all it can bring.
I will keep standing and saying the unworthiness of anger, to the ones who do not tolerate, to those who maddens and forces schemes, etc.
I think we should just behave in the faith of kindness as the only way, in front of those who does not and can’t take a step back.

YES, it is true, I do have to fight to remind it to myself (and NO, I am no Angel, not always good, not at all, and sometimes I take too many steps into grumpiness, be it because blinded by feelings or whatever). We must be open, we must be kind, we must be humble enough to look at ourselves and not the one in front of us. We must do that or we aren’t worth and there is no sense in living without feeling worth.
We must give courtesy, reply and do not ignore any kind gesture we receive, with openness, even when it comes from someone we disagree with. Basic humanity impose that, killing seeds of hatred impose that. We being humans beg for that.

Me;
the kitty, the Dragon, the simple female, the crazy one
from dreaming head to curling toes.

April 9, 2019 0

Silently

There are those days when, tired, after a long day, I do come back home, to o/Our rooms, o/Our Home, we all do that.

If it is late and She is there, or our schedules do not match, often it happens that do find Her busy in Her own things, or sometimes I find Her sleeping. When it happens I may end up having tears in my eyes. Well, I am like that. I don’t know what it is, maybe it is a combination of things, that sacred silence, the sound of Her breath, the little movements, and then silent power of awareness. The awareness that She exists.

It happens that She may sleep while I work, and vice-versa. I love that, I own that moments as treasures, I feel Her mind body totally purely busy in being all She is, She is there, here, and everywhere. None of us is doing anything at all related to what we share, and still I feel Her as much as someone can feel. She has me, in those moments, and She is happy to to have me, and hold me, and me, my Adored, I am in awe to have You.

Have me, hold me, own my love.

Then, i undress, I get under the sheets, by Her, close to Her, with Her and my world is perfect. Silently perfect

April 7, 2019 0

On Writing, and me

There is no day in which I do not write. In my every day there is some writing, as much as in my life there is eating, running, smiling, sleeping, loving.

“What do you write ?”

I have been asked various times, or even

“And exactly what are you writing about?”

It was annoying to be asked that, a violation, almost. Now it makes me smile. There is no thing I do not write about. It is aligning my thoughts, it is spreading them, it is shouting needs, or graciously expressing them, or ferociously defending ideas, or chanting my passions, or or or or.
I do not write well, no. At school I was not brilliant in writing, I was going off track, sometimes writing too much, or writing what I was not supposed to write about.
I have always been a good student but writing, no.
Life is strange, it was the thing I was putting my soul in and yet it was the one I kept for me and not shining at it at all.
I do write every day. I do even like the simple act of writing besides the content I do put in.
I do like the move of the pen on the paper, I like the words forming and then I like how it just goes. I like how the river of thoughts become a line of ink and my inner world finds its way into existing out of me. There are times when it leaves me exhausted, other times it is a boost. There are times when it is a lullaby, other times it is a battle; some times a rainbow, some times a storm.

I write to make lists, I write to tell difficult things, I write to pull my dears close to my heart, or to fight demons.

It took years but i am ok with it, it is part of me.
Look, I am writing “about writing” right now, and it makes actually sense, it is my peace. I do not think everyone should do it, on the contrary I think everyone is different and to my eyes it is beautiful to see that what for me writing means is for someone else drawing, or dancing, or watching the moon, or or or or.

To me it is a mix of things, I need the writing but I do also need something physical, such as reading, playing music, taking walks, doing some sports, howling, loving, crying, eating.

Yet writing is writing, and it exist.

Just saying

April 4, 2019 5