When I am in love, the kind of love that for me is soul sharing, devotion, selfgiving, the kind of love that for me is the peak of “love” I behave in ways that maybe are not the ways other do. I understand that each one of us has her own way of loving and ways to express it, I got mine.

When I love, for me it means curiosity.
It means curiosity even if I am by no means a person that is curious about what people do or think, in general. Yet, I am always “curious” about my beloved one, where the word means being thirsty about everything hers and everything she wishes to share with me. For this reason I feel natural for me to have her know what I think about this or that, and I think it is natural and the way to be, to have HER be the first to know.
For this reason, to my mind and soul, the natural is for me to have her knowing what my day will be, or was, what are my plans, if I am to endure a trip, or I will be away, or unavailable. And I feel like it would be insulting and lacking respect to her, if I would let someone else know these things first, normal personal things about me, to have her know something mine from someone else, or hearing it from someone else, not directly.

In this sense, for me Love is sharing, and the pleasure in doing it, having the whole of me being a home for her and feeling unbalanced and wrong when the world forces in a different direction. There are different expression of love, of loving.
I do not feel the same for a friendly type of love, no matter how deep that is.
I do not feel the same for a family type of love, or the love for my brothers, or my sister, or my mother. Those can be silent, although this does not mean less “deep”. Yet totally different that is.
This deep personal commitment to sharing is a vital part of my “loving” in a relationship. This not conceiving to have a total mutual relationship for me, without me giving this: this is part of what is for me loving someone, a central part of what it means for me to consider each other’s half. Not giving this, for me, would mean to not be truly honest and not honouring what we have.

This is not so for many, and I see people being ok with that, and it is perfect. I am always at the same time surprised, admired, and shocked, when I see relationships having totally different dynamics respect to the ones that are core, for me.

World is beautiful, and it is beautiful that there are so different ways to compose a symphony, different rules that can create an harmony. It find this thing to be enriching, to see how there are other approaches to anything, kind of beauties at every scale.

Kitty